Job 4-5

I have had a very trying week. It's been trying emotionally as well as physically. I went to bed last night at around 6:30. Woke up from 8:30-10 and passed back out after that. Apparently I was really really tired! I have had so many friends and students who have confided in me about trials that they're going through in their life. I have hugged students this week and let them just cry it out. I've spoken with friends who's lives seem to be falling apart. It's easy for us to ask, "God, where are you?" When all if this is going on. Honestly, I was so shocked by some of the things I have heard about that I asked the exact question when I was praying last night. Where was God? Why did he allow that to happen? The when two separate people asked me that very same question, I had no answer for them. I told them that was there with them as he always is, but I don't know why those things happened. There are unknown things that happen to us and we can't explain them because they're spiritual issues that are beyond our understanding. Just like Job, we must stay true to God and trust him.

In this chapter, we see Eliphaz, who was Job's friend, wrongly accuse Job of sinning. He made the assumption that sin brought on afflictions and that good people never suffer. Those are wrong! Job wasn't suffering bc of his sin. We saw that in the first few chapters. Job was suffering because Satan wanted to tempt him. That's all it boils down to. I tried not to get angry while I was reading Eliphaz's little rant that he went on. He claims to have gotten a vision from God. Then he quotes some scriptures and tells Job that he needs to plead his case before The Lord. He assumed that all bad things happen to only people who have sinned and that people who have changed for the better only HSBC good things happen to them. This isn't the case. Just because we get saved doesn't mean we get a golden ticket on the fairy train of "the good life." After becoming saved, life is usually rough because Satan doesn't want you to grow spiritually. He will try everything in his power to keep you down, just like he did with Job.

It is important for us, when sharing the word of God, to share everything that is included and not use the Bible to our advantage. Sometimes people tend to elaborate a bit and it causes problems. I truly felt bad for Job in this Chapter. He is going through all of this bad stuff and he tries to speak with a friend and the friend doesn't even listen. He begin to ridicule Job and blame him for his sins. We need to be wary of those who preach for themselves.

Job 2-3

I am so sorry I haven't posted in several days. Last week was crazy. I have gotten some good news concerning my career and my future for myself and for Lane, so I know that God is still working in my life as he always is. Just as I wrote this last sentence, I really began to think about Job and the chapters we have read so far. I had a friend call me today that is going through some things and I was able to share Job's story. She was confused as to why some very influential people in her life that are Christians could be so cruel and turn their backs on her. I have been amazed at the people who have told me stories of what they're experiencing right now, at this very moment. I just began reading Job. So after I wrote the sentence above about God working in my life just because of good things happening to me, I began to think about Job. Even though Job was going through all of this terrible stuff, God was still working in his life. He never abandoned him and he never has abandoned any of us. Job couldn't see it at that moment in time because our human perception of things is only capable of showing what is directly in front of us. God sees the entire picture. He sees the future and he knows what choices we will be faced with. Notice that in chapter 2, satan returns to heaven and asks God to give him permission to inflict pain and suffering just on Job's skin and bones. Even though this a terrible thing for someone to go through, we can see that God is using Job to bring Glory to his name. My human self is probably the most selfish because I definitely do not want to have to endure pain to bring glory to God's name, but there are already so many decisions that I have made myself that brought pain and suffering on and God rescued me. That is what we can learn from Job. Even though we may be suffering and mourning at this point in time, God isn't finished with us. He is NEVER finished with us as long as we allow him to use us on a daily basis.

In chapter 3, Job cursed the day he was born. This isn't him cursing God, but cursing the actual date of his birth. I've never been that miserable that I wished I hadn't been born. Job knew that he wasn't going to curse God, but I believe that he also felt that he had been forsaken by God. There is so much spiritual warfare that is going on all around us and we don't even see it. It is important for us to keep in mind that even though we may feel like God has forsaken us, he never does. He loves us more than we can even begin to imagine and that is the reason why he allows us to go through things. He has to give us free choice. If we are never faced with trials, tribulations, storms and temptations, then we will never grow in our relationship with Christ.

One of the most important things that I read in chapter 3 is going to be typed below and then I'll discuss it. This came out of my study bible.
3:23-26
Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For sighing has become my daily food; my groans pour out like water.

Job had been careful not to worship material possessions but to worship God alone. Here he was overwhelmed by calamities that mocked his caution, and he complained about trials that came despite his right living. All the principles by which he had lived were crumbling, and Job began to lose his perspective. Trials and grief, whether temporary or enduring, do not destroy the real purpose of life. Life is not gocen merely for happiness and personal fulfillment, but for us to serve and honor God. The worth and meaning of life is not based on what we feel, but on the one reality no one can take away-- God's love for us. Don't assume that because God truly loves you, he will always prevent suffering. The opposite may be true. God's love cannot be measured or limited by how great or how little we may suffer. Romans 8:38-39 teaches us that nothing can separate us from God's love.

That excerpt was in my study bible and I honestly agree 100%. Serving as the children's director and serving on the youth committee has helped me blossom so much as far as becoming a new creature. When I went through my divorce, it was difficult for me to feel needed and to feel loved. I felt like nobody would ever need me again and I felt like nobody would love me again. What I didn't know was that God hadn't ever stopped loving me. I had recently passed up the position for pre-school director/teacher due to some personal issues that I shouldn't have let get into the way of my life at church. Luckily, after my separation and throughout my divorce, God gave me the opportunity to work as an adult leader with the youth group, work as the preschool director as well as become a teacher in a public school. I wouldn't have ever take on any of these positions if I hadn't gone through what I went through. I never would have had the self confidence to go through with it on my own. So I want to encourage those of you who are experiencing rough times. God loves you unconditionally. No matter what. Give your situation to him so that your burden will be easier to carry. God bless.

Job 1

I am shocked at this first chapter of Job. I have read it before, but for some reason I didn't know that all of those things happened to Job in the first day that Satan began to test him. In this chapter he lost all of his sons and daughters, he lost his sheep and shepherds, he lost his oxen and donkeys and he lost his camels and camel drivers. This is a classic example of, "When it rains it pours!" I couldn't help but feel sorry for Job and at the same time it made me realize how great I have it. I have always heard that bad things happen in threes, but this is way worse than that!

Let's start at the beginning. Satan came to Heaven with some angels and was talking to God during this time about how he had been down on Earth and was just checking things out to see who was doing what. God immediately bragged on his servant Job. Job was described as a faithful man. He was also a good parent. The first chapter said that he woke up and offered a burnt offering on behalf of his children every day. He did this just in case they had sinned against God inwardly and he didn't know about it. Now we know that the only way to be forgiven for our sins is for each individual to ask for forgiveness on their own, but Job was pleading for mercy on his children. As a parent, I know that I don't do this near enough. I should be on my knees praying for God to have mercy on my child and to protect him from evil daily. Spiritual warfare is constantly going on around us. I know we don't really think about it too much, but we need to constantly be in prayer for ourselves, our children, our family, our friends and our country in general. Job made this sacrifice on behalf of his children on a daily basis and we can really learn a lot from him as far as prayer and meditation on behalf of others.

The part of this chapter where God strikes a deal with Satan reminds me of a good versus evil movie where there are deals that are struck behind the scenes. God told Satan that he could test Job, but he said that he couldn't hurt HIM. This tells me that God was giving Satan permission to tempt Job. We should take comfort in this because although we may sometimes feel that Satan is in control of our lives because of the things that are happening, we need to remember that God allows Satan to tempt us. Everything that happens may not come from God, but it is approved by God which means he is still in control. He doesn't tempt us without allowing us a way out of that temptation. Job's way out of the temptation to curse God was to immediately begin to praise God for the things he has done for him. He knew that God gave, but God also took away. This is still true today. We cannot expect to go through life without suffering hard times. If we never went through anything bad, then we wouldn't be able to learn from those experiences. I know I have been through some awful stuff, but it's nothing compared to what some people go through. There are people that are held captive in the Middle East for being a Christian and they suffer. They are tortured and they are burned alive. I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through but they don't give up. They don't curse God. They praise him in the storm. Many times people get angry with God for the things that they have gone through or they are going through. Instead of blaming who is truly to blame, Satan, they blame God for allowing it to happen. It is easier to blame God because God allows it. This reminds me of the cross. God allowed Jesus to die on the cross. If he had wanted to, he could have gotten Jesus down off of that cross, but he didn't. He allowed it to happen. I think one reason why is because it allows us to know that Jesus has suffered just like we do. His suffering was mental and physical. Mental because his own father had to turn his back on him. Physical because of all of the horrible torture he went through. The sacrifice that he made relates to so many different situations that we go through on a daily basis. I am so thankful for the trials I have endured. They were difficult to go through at the time, but they have made me the person that I am today.

I think that we can all learn from Job and the things that he goes through. As we continue on throughout the book, we will see that Job's life will get even more difficult. He will see his friends and family turn on God and he will feel like he is all alone in the world, but he still loves God throughout the whole ordeal. Thanks for reading and thanks to those who gave me the suggestions for which book of the Bible to read and study next.

Esther 8-10

The chapters in Esther are so short that I have combined the last three chapters of the book. Esther's story is such a wonderful story of hope and redemption. I am sure that throughout the time that this was happening, Esther was having some major anxiety and was probably feeling like she wasn't in control...and she wasn't in control at all. God was always in control. I firmly believe that Esther knew that God was in control which is why she asked for fasting and prayer in the previous chapters. I have been thinking about my control or lack of control as far as my life goes. Some days I feel like I'm getting nothing done. I run around like a chicken with its head cut off and at the end of the day I have accomplished nothing but a half done job of cleaning in each room of the house! I try to control things but it never fails, something happens that causes my whole day to be thrown off. Esther could not control anything that happened. She had to fully rely on God and that's what allowed her to be calm in the midst of a very stressful and dangerous situation. Esther didn't just go before the king once without being invited. She did it several times. Can you imagine what was going through her mind as she walked up towards those doors. I can imagine her heart pounding so loudly that she could hear it. I'm sure her adrenaline was going. i know she probably thought she was going to die. There was a large possibility that she could be punished for going before the king without being summoned. I believe that Esther's story was included in the Bible because it shows us how God works behind the scenes to bring forth victory in every situation if we allow him to work and we fully trust in him. Esther was a Jewish woman who broke cultural norms to be the voice of her people. If she hadn't done that, then Gods plan for Jesus would have been altered. When we don't listen to God and obey his commands, we are not the only ones affected. There are tons of people who don't listen to God, myself included, and we all have altered the plan that God has for our life. BUT the good thing about that is that God can and will bring beauty from every bad situation if we allow it! It has happened in my life and it can happen in yours also. Giving our lives over to God and allowing him to work in our lives will fix the issues that we have caused ourselves so far. There is nothing that God cannot do and nothing that is too big for God to handle. The book of Esther proves that. Because of Esther and Mordecai's obedience to God, a whole nation was saved.

Esther ch 6&7

I know I haven't posted in several days. I did complete the 30 day challenge and that was awesome! I hope that all of you are really getting something out of the readings. I know I am. I have been reading at night every though I haven't been posting too much. I will continue to try to post nightly. These two chapters are about Esther being such a brave woman. She knew that if she went before the king without being summoned that she could be killed. She trusted God and the people who were praying for Her. I firmly believe this is what made the difference in this situation. She prayed, went before the king, then invited the king and Haman to a celebration the next day. Now why would she think to wait and discuss matters with him in her own time? It's because it was all A part of God's plan. That night, Xerxes decided to read the book of chronicles. In it, he saw all of the good things that Mordecai did. He made Haman go honor him. The next day, Esther asked them to return to the dinner. When they did, the king asked her what she had to request of him. She then told him about the Jews and how Haman had tried to exterminate them. Xerxes sentenced him to die on the same pole that he had originally planned to use for Mordecai. This is quite ironic to me. I never would have thought that Haman would die that way. I think Hamans vice, that eventually got him killed, was pride or arrogance. He thought too highly of himself when others didn't think of him as anything even similar. It's very hard not to be prideful though. We need to take delight in our work and our acquaintances that we have. But just because we hold a Friendhsip position to someone in a powerful position doesn't mean that we are any better off than any other person. We need to keep this in mind. Haman became arrogant and haughty. So arrogant in fact that he took the planning of Mordecai's death Into his own hands and didn't consult the king which I am sure infuriated him! We have to be careful not to overstep our boundaries and make sure that we are right where God wants us to be!

Esther chapter 5

Wow what a day it has been! Today has been another long and stressful day but definitely much better than yesterday. I am very grateful for the lord's presence in my life today. I really needed his peace to give me the strength to shut my mouth on several occasions. In a way, I see a lot of Esther in me because she was a very determined person. I am the same way. If I feel an injustice is being done, then I am going to speak up and attempt to fix it. Esther did the exact same thing but she had to have a little bit of a push from Mordecai before she would go through with it. The difference in myself and Esther is she is meek and humble. I am not! If I had been in Esther's shoes, I probably would have marched into that throne room with guns blazing and demanded a meeting with the king. Esther's humbleness proved to be an asset for her. There have been so many times when I have begged God to allow me to be meek, to get rid of the attitude, to stop being so opinionated, and much more. I've never been the "Proverbs 31" woman. I never wanted to be the opinionated person out of all my friends. As I've gotten older, I have mellowed out some, but at times the old me pops back out. I can learn a lot from Esther because not only was she humble, but she was patient. I am one of the most impatient people ever! I hate waiting on things. I don't even like getting to school early because then I have to wait for a few minutes before I get Lane out of the car. I just don't like waiting; however, Esther did. She asked Mordecai and all the Jews to pray for her and fast for her. This played a major role in how King Xerxes accepted her into his throne room. Not only did he accept her, but he was glad to see her. He tells her that whatever she wanted would be hers(only up to half the kingdom). She asked if Haman and the King would come
To a banquet that she prepared for them. Once there, she invited them
Back for a second banquet and we will learn about why each of these banquets are significant tomorfow night.

Esther ch 4

I didn't read or post last night and I regretted it today. I needed a word from The Lord this morning due to some issues that I've had. I could tell that I didn't red it because I needed a calming peace today and honestly I was so upset that I didn't even think to ray. Usually that is my very first thought, but today I was so upset that I couldn't even think straight. I couldn't eat it go either and I carried it with me throughout the entire day, which in turn made my day miserable for me and everyone else. I had every intention of leaving school early, but didnt leave until 5 this afternoon. I came home, and Satan was attacking me again. It has just been one of those days. This part week our pastor spoke about spiritual warfare and there was definitely some of that going on with me today for sure!

As I sat down to read my Bible I began to reflect on my day and then I started thinking about what type of emotions that Esther must have had going through her mind whenever she had to deal with all of these pressures that were thrown upon her at one time. She had the entire Jewish race resting on her shoulders. If she was not well-received by the king, then it wasn't just her death that was imminent, but the entire race of Jews which would eventually lead the way to Jesus being born.

In chapter 4, Esther shows her dignity and her bravery in so many different ways. When she found out that Mordecai was dressed in sackcloth and was mourning, she sent a servant to find out why. He told her that she must go in tnsee the king and beg for mercy for the Jews. She sent back word that she had not been summoned to the kings room for 30 days and that if any wine appears to the king without being summoned, if he does not hold his golden shelter out to them, they were to be out to death for showing up uninvited. Whew! Talk about a plus for King Xerxes. He had it all. Too many women and not one of them could bother him unless he wanted them to!

Esther knew that she could possibly be sentenced to death if she entered in to see the king without being summoned. When she sent this message to Mordecai he told her that she shouldn't think that she was so high and mighty just because she was married to the king, and that her heritage will eventually be found out. Then she would have died along with all of the Jewish race. At this time, Esther sent Word for all of the Jews to fast and pray for her as she went before the king. I'm sure this was a very emotional time for Esther. She told Mordecai that if she died, then she died and there wasn't anything she could do about it. While reading this, I began to think about the Christians who are being persecuted for ISIS. At this very moment, a church could be meeting behind closed doors just so they can read the bible together. These people are faced with true adversity. Esther and these current Christians have so much in common. They are risking their life to tell others about what Jesus did for them and to just speak about God. They have the same attitude that Esther had. "If I die then I die!" We need to practice being brave like Esther. We may not be able to do anything for prisoners in the Middle East but we can pray that god gives them leave and a dying grace as they move from this world into the next.

Esther chapter 3

The third chapter really is a shorter chapter and focuses more on Mordecai than anything. I feel like this is significant because Esther's story wasn't just about Esther. Everything that she did had an immediate impact on her people and also would pave the way for Jesus Christ to be born as a Jew years later.

In this chapter, we meet Haman. King Xerxes demanded that everyone bow down to Haman at the gates but Mordecai refused. Haman was a long time enemy of the Jews and Mordecai knew that if he bowed down to him, he would be acknowledging that he was a god. Mordecai wouldn't bow and because of this, Haman sought out the King to ask him for the annihilation of all Jews. The King didn't realize that Esther was also a Jew, so he was sentencing her to death without even knowing it. King Xerxes gave him his signet ring. I wasn't aware of the significance of this until I read my study bible tonight. This ring was a ring that every king had. They each had certain symbols on them that were just like a personal seal for each King. When Xerxes gave him his ring, he was basically giving him the right to decree whatever he wanted to. He carried the king's personal signature. Haman decreed that all Jews would be killed on a certain month. He cast lots to decide when this would happen and it was decided that a year would pass before he issued the order for the attack. This gave God plenty of time to get Esther ready for what he would ask of her.

I really enjoyed this chapter because of what Mordecai did. I have always wondered what I would do if someone put a gun to my head and asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. I have always said I would say yes I do. Then I thought some more....what if someone put a gun to Lane's(my son) head and told me if I said yes that they would shoot him. I hope that I would say yes, but I can't positively say that because I've never been in that situation before. Mordecai did just what he was supposed to do, even though his actions could have easily killed Esther. If Haman had been smart, he could have had Esther killed to begin with. I honestly think that he didn't realize how much trouble she would create for him at a later date.

Mordecai was a very wise man. He stood up for what he believed and he gave God everything he had. I am sure he was afraid. I am sure he had about a thousand thoughts running through his head, but he still stayed true to God. I know we all aren't perfect. I make mistakes daily, but We can all learn so much from Mordecai. He lived his life to bring glory to God and nobody else.

In our time today we don't necessarily have to put other people in front of God, but we can put things in front of God. I have been guilty of putting my phone, social media, friends and family in front of God. I bowed down to all of these things at one or more time(s) in my life. This is very sad to me because I hate when I mess up, but my God is a forgiving and a loving God. He gives me new chances every day. I am glad that he doesn't place a limit on forgiveness.

Esther chapter 2

This chapter was really good, but I feel like we are missing so much of the story. I wish we could see things from Esther's point of view and then we would know what went through her head. King Xerxes at this point has banished Queen Vashti from him because she wouldn't show off for their guests of the King. This showed defiance so he had to act upon it. Then the advisors told the king that he should bring in many different virgins from the city and have them complete the rigorous training that it takes to be a queen. The women were to receive 6 months of beauty treatments and 6 months of being adorned with oil before they could come in and see the King. Esther's uncle, Mordecai, had told her not to reveal her nationality to the king. This is why I love Esther so much. She is calm and protected and she knows it. Because of this she doesn't feel like she has to worry about too much. She knows Gods gonna take care of it! I have issues trusting that all things are going to be okay right now. I cannot imagine being in her shoes and wondering what I should do with the whole situation! But she trusted God and Mordecai and it paid off!

Mordecai was also a smart man. He sat at the temple gates and listened. I imagine Mordecai to be a smart and wise man who waits on God to provide for him and his family. He waited and God provided for sure! Esther found favor among her caretaker and he gave her the answers as to what she should take with her when she went to see the king. Esther was also wise enough to ask what she should take! We can all learn from this because how many times have we gone into something expecting God to do all the work but yet we are too stubborn to ask for or accept help from other people. Because Esther was not afraid to ask for help, she was given the position of Queen and this position would greatly influence the future of many generations to come. No woman, Queen or not, was allowed to enter in to see the King unless he summoned her. We will see Esther's courage grow throughout this book. I hope you continue on our reading journey with me!

Esther chapter 1

Last night we finished the book of John. I was having some difficulty between deciding what book I would study next. I was interested in Job, Lamentations, Jude and Esther. Naturally I felt drawn to Esther. I'm sure it's because she is a female, and because I do know some of what she went through. Esther was a very brave woman. Not only was she brave, but we will see throughout this short study that she was not too prideful to take orders from her uncle. She knew he was a wise man so she listened to him and because of that she saved her life, her uncles life and the lives of many others.

Esther begins with a story of King Xerxes and his wife Queen Vashti. They threw a huge party for many people. The king wanted his servants to bring out Queen Vashti so that he could show off her beauty to everyone there. She refused. It was customary during this time for the king to consult his wise men. They told him that Queen Bashti's actions could basically begin a downward spiral of all women refusing to obey their husbands so she had not only sinned against the king, but against all men! So the wise men suggested that it be decrees that Queen Vashti would never enter into the presence of Xerxes again and that he should get a new wife to replace her. This was humiliating for the Queen because she basically wasn't Going to be useful to a man, her husband, any longer. There is such a vast difference between Esther and Vashti. Esther would have humbly gone before the King. She was quiet and submissive but she knew when to speak up. We are going to see this throughout the book. when she did speak up, she spoke words that had been well thought out, well put together and words that had been prayed about. I am anxious to see how Eather presents herself to the king. As women it is hard for us to submit to our men. But if he in line with the word of God, then that's what God expects us to do.

John 21

I haven't posted on my blog in two Days! I feel awful because I haven't posted. I have got to start making more time for things that need to be a priority in my life. I am currently finishing up my second maternity leave at Bryant High School so I am stressing and trying to get everything taken care of. I fell asleep in the bed with lane tonight at 7 and then woke up at 9:30 and realized I hadn't washed his uniforms for school tomorrow or cleaned the kitchen! Luckily mom had taken care of the kitchen. At any rate, I'm running on fumes.

John chapter 20 is about the third time that Jesus appears to his disciples after his resurrection. I am pretty sure that These special times with Jesus were like a breath of fresh air to the disciples. I can't imagine having Jesus physically there to guide me every day and then him be gone. I am sure the disciples felt somewhat lost and afraid because they didn't have that daily face to face relationship with Jesus as they had had before his death and resurrection. When the men saw Jesus on the shore and Peter JUMPED overboard and swam to him. He was so anxious to see him that he wasn't waiting. He wanted to be there first. This shows the desperation that he had for Jesus. My question is, when are we ever that desperate for Jesus? Of course we would definitely jump overboard and swim to him if we physically saw him, but in our day to day lives that isn't possible. The only way we see him and can be close to him is by reading our Bibles and attending our churches so that we can be around other believers who will lift is up. I know that over the past few days I've lost my focus on my daily readings because I've been so tired, but that isn't an excuse. I can remember a time a few years back where I would sit up until all hours of the night and read my Bible. This is a time when I was desperate for Jesus. I needed his guidance every day because of a storm I was going through in my life. It's always easier for me to remain close to God when I am going through a difficult time in my life because that's a time when I so desperately need him. Really I need him daily. Because I never know when I am going to be faced with a difficult situation where I may need to consult him for answers. If I'm
Not in my bible and prayed up, then there is no way I will be able to clearly understand what God wants me to do.

My next point is about Jesus telling
Peter to feed his sheep. Remember that Peter has denied him three times. Jesus asked him if he loved him three times and Peter was irritated that he had to ask so many times and didn't believe him after the first time he mentioned it. This was simply Jesus's way of clearing Peter from his earlier denial of knowing him. Yes, it was a cowardly action that was made by Peter, but Jesus forgave him! In my Bible, the questions that Jesus really asked are shown. They Are: do you love me? Do you really love me? Are you even my friend? These are significant because Jesus wasn't settling for just any answer. He doesn't want our minimum when it comes to our relationship with him. That isn't much of a sacrifice. Which is why he told Peter to feed his sheep. The sacrifice comes in when you can truly humble yourself and become the servant that Jesus intended you to be.

Jesus predicts Peter's death in this chapter as well. He tells Peter that there will be a time when someone will lead him somewhere that he doesn't want to go. Peter does die, later, by crucifixion. He was crucified upside down because he didn't feel worth of being crucified in the same manner that Jesus was crucified. I cannot imagine being crucified period. Much less upside down, but Peter's life was so radically changed by Jesus that he knew his time was near for him to see his friend again. He knew he wasn't wven worthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus was. That makes me feel so many different emotions because I don't know if I could have been as brave as Peter was. Peter also asked Jesus how John would die and Jesus told him not to be concerned about him. He needed to be concerned with his own life and death! This verse AND what I'm about to type will probably step on some toes, bit I'm just as guilty of it as the next person so I am preaching to the choir. We allllllllll need to be concerned with our own lives, issues, problems, families, jobs, etc., and stop worrying about what everyone else has going on! I am the worlds worst at being nosey! I can't stand not knowing what is going on, but seriously in the grand scheme of things, what importance does that hold? None whatsoever! God commands me to feed his sheep....he didn't command me to find out what all the sheep are eating! My job is simple. Feed his sheep, bring them closer to him, draw closer to him myself.

If Jesus were to ask you the three questions he asked Peter,
Do you love me?
Do you really love me?
Are you even my friend?

Not only what would you say, but would your life provide proof of that love and friendship that you have for Jesus Christ?

John 20

I have seriously been typing this out for about two days now. I am still reading my bible daily, but it has been hard for me to post at night.

Chapter 20 has probably been a favorite of mine out of the whole book. This was when Jesus arose from the dead. He was dead and then when Mary went to the tomb, he was no longer there. I believe there were several significant reasons as to why MaRy was the one who found Jesus.

1. She was a woman! Women's opinions were not valued during this time, so it was important and significant that she was the one who found Jesus's empty tomb. I'm sure the men had a hard time believing her because they thought that she was crazy. Until they realized that the scripture was being fulfilled. Jesus told his disciples that he would be back, but I think that they still had a hard time believing that it was even true! Even though they saw the miracles daily, they still did not realize the full extent of the power that God had given him.

I also find Thomas to be interesting. He flat out refused to believe anything that anyone said about Jesus being back from the dead. He didn't believe Jesus was back until he touched the scars with his own hands. I think this is why so many people have such a hard time getting saved. we want to physically see Jesus but we can't. We can see him figuratively, and he may chose To reveal himself to us in other ways. I believe that God does have a wonderful way of showing his love and mercy to all of those around us. He could have been angry with Thomas or Peter but he wasn't. This gives us an excellent example of how our lives should reflect Jesus Christ.

John 19

Wow what a day! I actually logged on today to begin my post that I was originally supposed to post last night but didn't and I got side tracked! We have had such a busy day today that I felt like I didn't stop! I really didn't! From yard work, to the Bryant baseball game, to the store, to my nana's then back home to paint a bookshelf. It really has been packed. I'm feeling guilty though because I didn't post last night. I am finding that I tend to put off typing things out because my screen on my computer is cracked and I need to have it fixed. So I'm typing everything out on my phone. You know how that goes! At any rate, John 19 is EXTREMELY difficult to read. My heart goes out to Mary during this chapter because as a mother, I cannot imagine how she feels. I know that most people tend to focus on Jesus while discussing this chapter, but I want to focus on Jesus as well as Mary. First, when jesus sees his mother there at the foot of the cross, he doesn't cry out to her or beg her(or anyone) to rescue him. He humbly accepted his fate and what else did he do?! He worrried about what his mother would do after he passed away. I think he wanted to be sure that even after he rose and ascended into heaven that she would be taken care of. We can learn so much from this relationship that Jesus had with his mother. The Bible tells us in James 1:27 that we should take care of widows and orphans. Time and time again I have not wanted to help someone who needed the help because I felt like they weren't spending their money or time wisely. As I've gotten older I've realized that God doesn't care about their life circumstances. He doesn't care if they are spending money and time wisely or not. He expects us to help them and care for them. I am a single mother. If I didn't live with my parents, I'd have a difficult time maintaining my house and yard. So it would be up to others to help me if I didn't have a family. We have so many youths in our community that have absolutely nothing. Jesus wants us to care for them, love them, and help them. Just because they live with their parents doesn't mean that they aren't emptionally abandoning them on a daily basis.

Back to John 19... My favorite part of this entire chapter is when Jesus tells Pilate, "you would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above." I had CHILLS when I read this part. Jesus put him in his place and made Pilate realize that the only reason why he had any power of Jesus was because this was part of Gods plan and they were fulfilling it. Idk if Pilate recognized it then but I'm sure he was very uneasy about the whole situation.

The scene on the cross is almost unbearable to even attempt to imagine. For me, it pains me to know that Jesus basically was murdered, but he did it willingly, so that we could live in heave and have forgiveness, yet I sin all the time and basically don't even appreciate the fact that he died so I could live. My prayer and my challenge tonight is that we all make some sort of sign or symbol and carry it with us this week. Whether it be a cross or a mark on your hand. When you see it, remember what Jesus did for you and remember to thank him for his mercy and grace.

John 18

Chapter 18 was difficult to read because I knew what was about to happen! I do love the fact that Jesus tells the high priest and his little friends exactly what they're doing wrong. I guess it's my sinful human nature because I couldn't help but want to do a fist pump when homeboy slaps him in the face and Jesus says something along the lines of, "if I didn't say anything wrong then why did you slap me!?" That was so awesome because he legit called this guy out on the way he was acting. He was responsible for so much and yet Jesus still wasn't intimidated by him or by what he was about to go through. He even went so far as to reprimand Peter when he cut off the guards ear. He said, "Shall I not drink from the cup my father has prepared for me?" Pretty much that meant that he knew God had prepared for this to happen. He wasn't going to fight it, but I believe he wanted to go down with a fight too. He fought til the very last minute to show others that he was love. He was the ultimate sacrifice. He never once tried to stop anything from happening besides when he prayed to his father in the garden of Gethsemane. I cannot imagine knowing that I was about to die for a bunch of ungrateful brats that wouldn't appreciate my death and my sacrifice. If Jesus had known that everyone would accept him, it would have been easier on him to make that sacrifice, but we have free will so that means we can make the choice to accept or deny.

This chapter doesn't give an account of the crucifixion, but it does tell us what is going on in Peter's life. Jesus told Peter that he would deny him. And he was right. Peter, being afraid, denied Jesus when he was asked if he knew him. Now I'm just speculating here so don't take my word for it but I believe that Jesus had a reason for telling Peter before that he would deny him 3 times before it actually took place. 1. I think God was allowing Peter to know that he understood what was going to happen and he wasn't angry. 2. I think he was giving Peter some sort of comfort to know that he was really God's son. How else would he know that he was goog to deny him? I'd definitely like to hear your thoughts on that. Have a great night!

John 17

Last night was the first night that I completely didn't post at all. For some reason, I have been extra tired at night which explains all of the typos. My mom corrected me and I felt really bad about not beginning to write my blogs earlier so i wouldn't be tired while typing, but I attempted that tonight. And im trying to stay away right now! Satan is after me. Which is why I absolutely love 💗💗💗💗 chapter 17. Almost the entire chapter is focused on Jesus praying for believers, his disciples and himself.
When jesus did this prayer, he prayed for himself first, then his disciples second and then everyone else after that. You could take as this is the order in which we should pray for people, but honestly I think Jesus spoke to his father first about himself because he was hurting and afraid. He couldn't depend on anyone else to understand what e was going through. Jesus then began to pray for himself. He knew his heart had to be right. This is why he prayed for himself and then for other believers.
I believe he prayed for the disciples second because they were the ones he was leaving behind. He knew their lives were in danger. He knew he was leaving them. But yet he couldn't do anything to stop it. He asked his father to let the cup pass from him, but it didn't snd Jesus willingly went to the cross. That says a lot about him as a person period. Idk about yall but I'm not going to die by going down without a fight.
I'm Not gonna die by walking to the cross on my own two feet and be perfectly fine about it. But Jesus did. He deserves our respect. He knew that his disciples were staying here by themselves and they would be watching for his return. Jesus gives us an example of how he intercedes on our behalf during the majority of chapter 17. Jesus prays like those us on a daily basis. When we realize that he cares enough about is to intercede on our behalf then we will truly be able to understand how we should pray for others. It's often difficult, but Jesus's life wasn't wasted by any means and he is our example. we should strive to be like him daily

John 16

I am so sorry I didn't post last night. I did read chapter 16 but I have been so tired I haven't even typed out my thoughts on it yet! So that's what I will do tonight. I feel like chapter 16 is about Jesus preparing the disciples for what is to come. He knew that he had given them the the right amount of guidance while he was there but he was afraid that in his absence, they would fail and not know which way they should go. He tried as best as he could to prepare them for his death and resurrection but I don't that any of them realized how bad it would be. I cannot imagine watching my best friend, brother, cousin or son die such an agonizing and cruel death.

With that being said, I'm sure that most of you agree that you wouldn't want that to happen to your friend or family member. But isn't dying a spiritual death worse than a physical death? Yet we are all so focused on getting this one to the doctor and getting that one to ball practice that we haven't even stopped to get our focus on God. We let people come close to dying a spiritual death on a daily basis. Some may even be the family that we supposedly love and care for but yet every day that they don't know Christ is a day that they get closer to going to hell. I know exercise and eating right is good, but when was the last time you told someone about what Jesus has done for you in your life? You don't hesistate to talk about exercise or diet but you won't talk about Jesus.

Jesus expects us to prepare others for his second coming. It's the same thing that jesus did for his discuples. He prepared them. We must do the same thing for the rest of the world.

John 15 continued

The rest of this chapter brought back some rough memories for me of my teenage years. I began my teenage years as a very strong and independent young woman. I remember always standing up for God. Back when we had AIM (AOL instant messenger) I used to go into the chat rooms and witness to people all the time. I knew who I was on Christ and nothing could sway me. Somewhere along the line that all changed. I began to see things differently and I didn't care of what I was doing was wrong or right. I think a lot of it had to do with my rebellious attitude and a lot of it had to do with peer pressure. Jesus tells his disciples in this Chapter that if the world hates us, we must be doing something right. But if the world loves us, that's when we need to recalculate the time we spend daily with God because if the world can absolutely love us 100% then we aren't doing something right. He also said that when the world hates us, to remember that the world hated him first. We should be okay when we face opposition because that's when we know we are doing something right. There were many times as a young girl that I was made fun of for my beliefs. Many times I was ridiculed. Once I got into college I began to change my life around once again and I was ridiculed in a college classroom for taking a stand against something that was mentioned about the Bible. I was laughed at by an entire class along with my professor. I was called an idiot in class because my teacher called the biblical story of Noah's ark "made-up" and I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He saw me and said, "If you don't believe it is a fictional story then you're an idiot." So I said all of that to say that The world hates us because we are different. When people are different, they stand out and most of the time they are a threat to others who are "normal" by societies standards. So don't be afraid to be different. Jesus was different! Praying for you all!

John 15

I am reading John 15 tonight and the first few verses really grabbed my attention. I don't know why but I guess the wording really made me think about the actual meaning behind the verses. When we prune our trees on our gardens or flower beds, we cut the plants back for a few reasons(not me because I can't keep a plant alive to save my life-my mom is the plant growing genius around here). My mom usually cuts hers back to Get rid of the dead limbs or dead parts of the plants. She also cuts it back to shape it into the correct shape. Jesus mentions that his father cuts back the limbs on him that aren't bearing fruit so that they may be able to bear even more fruit. He also says that he is the one true vine. Jesus uses this metaphor of comparing himself to he vine because it gives is a visual image of what he provides for is. The stem or the vine bring sustenance to the rest of the plant. Without that, the plant would die. We are the rest of the plant and Jesus is the vine. He provides us with our daily filling of the Holy Spirit. If we think about it, once a leaf falls from the vine, it dies because it cannot be fed anymore. The same is with Jesus.jesus loves us unconditionally, but when we separate ourselves from the vine, we separate from God. The purpose of forgiveness is made clear in the Bible, and that's all we have to do is ask for it and we will receive it. I will post more on chapter 15 tomorrow

John 14

Well today has been a long day for me! I can honestly say that I have been looking forward to reading my Bible though. There have been nights where I am so absolutely tired that I don't want to read it, but I'm always glad that I do afterwards! It was a big turning point for me to see that I was looking forward to hearing what God had to say. I also was listening to Kim Walker while I was riding my exercise bike tonight. For those of you who haven't ever heard her, you should try it out. She has excellent praise songs and while I was riding I found myself with my eyes closed and the tears began to fall. I felt like I was surrounded by God's presence. At that moment I wasn't thinking about my legs feeling so numb that they seemed like limp noodles. I was only focusing on God and it really was amazing. I'm beginning to feel like I am getting closer to where I was in my relationship with God a few years back and I am very pleased with that. This blog has held me accountable.

I know that I talk about how great the readings are every night but tonight's was really good to me because of the subject matter that I am going to talk about. There were two portions of this chapter that stood out to me. Jesus spoke a lot about miracles in chapter 14. Two common verses that people use while praying for healing for people are verses 13 and 14. I've been guilty of praying them before myself. It says, "and whatever you ask in my name, I will do this, in order that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."
Now this is interesting because it makes me wonder how many people actually ask for something to be done in Jesus name? How many people actually believe with their whole heart that God is going to heal the person they are praying for? My son, Lane, has an immune disorder. I have prayed and prayed and begged God to heal him from this disorder. I went through a time of denial where I didn't believe he was "that sick" and then I went through a time of panic where I cried every time someone mentioned it to me. It was an awful time for me and even though I was praying for healing, I had not completely given it to God. I'd like to be able to sit here now and say things are different, but that's a work in progress for me. It's hard to just believe without a shadow of a doubt that God is going to bring healing when we are seeing the opposite things happen on a daily basis. I don't know how people who have cancer can be so positive and uplifting when they are dying and basically hanging on to hope that their treatments will work. It takes a strong person to deal with those sicknesses.

I also know that God brings about healing so that he can be glorified. This means we should be wary of people who say they come in Jesus name, but yet they don't glorify Jesus when a healing takes place. Anyone who glorifies their own self or draws attention to what "they" have done is not coming in the name of Jesus. When we see men and women who proclaim the name of Jesus Christ but yet they don't live it, speak it, preach it, or walk it, then we need to run the other way. There are so many pastors out there that are looking to make money off of Christian men and women. This is why God gave us his word. He knew that we, at some point, would need to read it for ourselves and not just follow men blindly.

The last portion of my post tonight is about Jesus telling his disciples that he was giving them peace and he was LEAVING it there with them. Peace. Just think about that word for about ten seconds...okay...few more...yeah peace! I have no idea what that is! I really do because God has given me peace about certain situations before but it wasn't given to me until I had actively sought after him for many days. I believe the disciples were afraid and confused. Even though they had spent all of this time with Jesus, the crucifixion was such a horrible thing that their human minds could not wrap around it. This was something that couldn't be understood by human minds and that is why Jesus told them he was leaving peace with them. He meant that yes he was leaving, but they would never be alone. As long as we all depend on God on a daily basis and ask him for help, then he will give is the peace we need to get through our day to day situations. Praying you all!

John 13

This chapter was difficult to read because I feel like satan is trying to tempt me into believing lies. It was definitely a God thing that I ended up reading this chapter tonight because sometimes I really feel like the words in the bible are far-fetched and then other times I feel like satan is trying to just flat out turn me away from God because I may disagree with the way I read something. Once I go back and read what I wrote, then I see the actual meaning behind what Jesus said. So this has been a difficult journey for me.

This chapter is amazing because it's first about Jesus providing an example for his followers to be servants. Serving is something that is very near to my heart. I feel that serving within our own churches is important. Very imortant! We shouldn't put that on the back burner because Jesus didn't do that either. He knew his time with his followers was short so he washed their feet to show them that in order to be a leader they have to become humble first. Jesus humbled himself by taking on a servants job (washing someone's feet) and this provided an excellent example for the disciples to follow. Jesus knew that they would be facing difficult times soon and he wanted to be sure that they were ready for them. He does the same thing with us. If we will allow him to, he will prepare us to go into battle daily with the enemy. The spiritual warfare that is going on now is just as great as it was at that point in time. Our society has made it easier on satan unfortunately. The advances in technology have provided him with ways that he can ruin marriages and families with just the click of a button. This is why prayer and devotions are so important. The Angels of God can fight the spiritual warfare for us but we also have to be fully equipped with every weapon available to us so that we don't fall into temptation.


The last part of this chapter, Jesus willingly allows Judas to go and give the officials information about Jesus's whereabouts. Jesus knew what was going to happen and although he wasn't okay with it and he knew it would bring heartache and pain, he allowed it to happen Anyways. You see, he knew that God's final plan would prevail. He knew that he would rise from the dead and he knew that he would see his followers again. Satan knew nothing of this. He thought he had the upper hand. We need to be more like Jesus in these type of situations. Of course most of them aren't life or death situations like the one Jesus was in, but they are situations that we need to allow Jesus to control versus taking it on ourselves to fix the problems. We need to patiently wait for the right answers.

I think the most humbling part of this whole chapter was the fact that Jesus knew Peter would deny him and he knew Judas would betray him. He wasn't angry and he wasn't trying to stop them. He loved them unconditionally even though he knew they were going to mess up. Isn't it amazing that God loves us anyways even though he knows that we are going to win. Jesus was offering yet another example to his followers about loving one another unconditionally. I'm not sure about you guys, but I don't love too many people with unconditional love. We should love someone enough that we would humble ourselves and wash their feet if we felt like God asked us to. Yes, it may be a strange request (especially for someone like me who hates feet) but it is also a wonderful way for someone to show their love and humbleness to another person. We all need to work on loving others unconditionally. Jesus even says at the end of this chapter, "love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another." I am so awful about unconditionally loving someone, but God specifically says that we are to love one another and that's how people will be able to tell if we are Christians. Not by us walking around beating people with a bible and not by carrying a bible everywhere, but by loving each other. This is what was most important to Jesus. I hope we can all find room to love others unconditionally in the future. I know I need to work on it!
I hope and pray this prayer for myself as well as any of you reading this. Have a great night

John 12-part 2

Last night I didn't have the chance to write too much about chapter 12 because there is SO much that happens in this chapter and I really didn't want to miss anything! I'm going to begin with verse 20 tonight and go to the end of the chapter(hopefully). Jesus begins speaking and explains that he will soon die. He uses a parable to explain to his followers about the events that would come to pass in the near future. He uses an analogy of a kernel of wheat falling to the ground. If that kernel doesn't fall to the ground and die, it won't produce any more seeds. It has to sacrifice itself first. Jesus was attempting to explain to his disciple that he would soon be sacrificing himself so that many seeds could be planted and when the harvest was ripe for picking, it would be picked. Metaphorically speaking, Jesus was the kernel, his followers planted the seeds and the harvest were the people who changed their lives around and devoted them to God.

Jesus then makes the point that anyone who loves their own life will lose it, but one who hates it will inherit the kingdom of heaven. Now I don't think Jesus wants us to actually hate ourselves or our lives, but what he means is that we shouldn't out ourselves first in anything we do. We aren't here to live for ourselves, our children or our spouses. We are here to live for God. Our one and only purpose here on earth is to bring others closer to him. So to put it in a better way, we need to STOP BEING SO SELFISH! The world doesn't revolve around us. This isn't "Brooke's magical land of fairies and pixie dust!" This is real life and every minute we spend not telling others about Jesus is a minute closer that the get to hell. I have missed a chance before to witness to someone. I kept trying to argue with God. I ran into this man about 3-4 times that day at the store, so God gave me extra chances. I didn't take them. Now I have no idea where that man is. I can only hope and pray that someone shared the gospel with him.

Symbolism also plays a big part in this chapter of John. Jesus uses the symbol of light in different ways throughout the entirety of the bible. It usually always represents something good. In this instance, Jesus is the light. He says he came into this world to bring the light so that people could be saved and not walk in darkness. Verse 47 says, "IF ANYONE HEARS MY Words BUT DOES NOT keep them, I will not judge that person. For I did not come to condemn the world but to save the world." Now I know some of you are like really? He did not come to condemn people then why did he come at all all? He came because he is our intercessor. He pleaded on our behalf. Not only did he die for each and every one of us, but he still has to plead to his father on our behalf. I'm not too sure about you, but I wouldn't beg for anyone if they didn't do the changing afterwards. Instead, Jesus forgives us each time. As difficult as it is to forgive someone, it is necessary because of Jesus forgiving us. I hope you have enjoyed this. I'm praying for each one of you.

John 12

John 12 has really been one of my favorite chapters so far! I really loved reading this. The Bible is filled with so many different types of descriptive words and so much imagery that it really is enjoyable to read for me! I am going to begin with the part where Mary washed Jesus's feet with the perfume and dried them with her hair. Now for us, this may be just a LITTTTTLE bit weird! I know I would be weirded out if anybody besides the guy who gives me a pedicure touched my feet and tried to wash them! But Jesus knew what Mary was doing and why she was doing it. I cannot even begin to imagine how it must have felt to be kneeling at the feet of our savior and touching his feet! Washing his feet! Drying his feet off! Now during this time, a women's glory was her hair. Women took pride in their hair and that's what made them beautiful. We see many verses in the Old Testament about women not cutting their hair off. So for Mary to dry a mans nasty feet with her hair was a huge act of humility. Once this happened, how was she treated for it? She was ridiculed and embarrassed by Judas, who was only speaking out of anger and selfishness. He didn't care about the poor. All he cared about was filling his money bag with money.

I think that sometimes we all tend to act like Judas. We see people doing good things for others and then we become offended. We are offended for more reasons than one.
We don't like the fact that someone else has "one-upped" is.
We don't want anyone to look better than us! So the Pinterest mom who has it all together and took the freshly-baked, made from scratch casserole to the church dinner quickly becomes the source of the gossip of all the ladies. "Who does she think she is? Betty Crocker?" "Well here comes the over achiever again!" These are all comments that we are guilty of making when we are jealous that someone thought about something before we did. But that's our human nature! It is our responsibility to build each other up and not tear each other down. Next time you see someone doing something nice, don't ridicule them...verbally or mentally. Just tell them thank you and that you appreciate them. These are the people who are leading by example. Are you a Judas? Or will you rise to the occasion and become a better man/woman because of you allowing God to change the negativity in your heart so that you can finally accept people for who/what they are. Flawed individuals just like you and me! God bless you all! Have a nice night.

John 11

Wow! I can't believe we are already on day 11 of our Bible study! I really have no idea about who is actually reading my posts. I know that there are a few of you who do because y'all post on my Facebook page or send me a message to let me know that you've read it. Please continue to give me feedback. This is the best way to hold myself accountable. There have been nights (like tonight) that I have waited too late to post and I'm so tired that I want to skip it, but I know that there are at least two people who are reading it and I don't want to let them down. So I sincerely hope this is helping you also.

The 11th chapter of John was somewhat difficult for me to read. For some reason, I never see men as emotional creatures. I know the are, but we still don't see them cry very often. As a result, any time a man cries, I cry with them. I think that's why it's so difficult to read about Jesus experiencing emotion. I am a VERY EMOTIONAL person. So it really humbled me to know that Jesus had these same types of feelings and emotions that we have now. We have talked about this several times over the past few days. My dad spoke about prayer and healing at the breakfast at work day yesterday, we talked about healing in preschool church last week and this morning in Sunday school, we talked about why we thought Jesus came to earth as a man. While I understand that it was because that's how God planned it, I believe there was much more to it than that. God wanted us to know that we had a n intercession acting on our behalf that knows exactly what it's like to be human. He was tempted, beaten and murdered but yet still was raised from the dead.
When Jesus wept in this passage, we don't know why he did it, but I believe it was because he was 1. Moved with emotion 2. Pleased with the faith that was placed in him and 3. Because he knew what pain they were suffering. When those women believed that he could heal Lazarus and bring him back from the dead, Jesus knew they. As faith in him and I think it must have made him extremely proud. Faith is one thing I struggle with daily.i can learn a lot from these two ladies.

John 10

Well today's readig is pretty amazing. It has one of my favorite verses in it. "The devil walks about like a roaring lion seeking those whom he may devour." jesus is speaking about sheep and their master to the Pharisees. He says there is a gate that enters into the sheep pasture. The Shepherd enters in through yhr far and the sheep follow him. He protects his sheep no matter what. He understands the importance of his sheep. We are the sheep and he is the gate is what he explains within the bible. The sheep and their pen symbolize Christians entering into Jesus's presence. Jesus said he is the gate and all that enter through him are saved. just as the gate offers entrance and protection once the sheep enter, Jesus does the same for us.

The chapter then goes on to discuss how once again, the Jews didn't believe him. So he tried to explain to them again. I think that they basically didn't want to accept that they were wrong and he was right. They thought that by killing him it would solve the problems. They attempted to seize an stone him in this chapter which I never knew happened. When Jesus told the Jews who he was, they became divided. He told them that he had already said and explained who he was and they didn't believe them. He then said IF you don't believe me, then look at the things I've done that SHOW YOU who I am. So he was offering concrete evidence to these people and they still didn't believe that he was the Messiah. This is an example of why works are so important. The bible says they will know me by my fruit. My fruit is what I'm going to bear which is exactly why it's so important. No they don't get us to heaven, but at the same time, it might convince someone else to be saved based off the things you do!

John 9

When I read these first few verses of this chapter I almost fell off the couch. God works in mysterious ways. I almost didnt read John chapter 9 tonight because I was thinking about beginning to move through several different books but I decided against it and began reading chapter 9. Dad and I just had a discussion about why people got sick. I told him that I didn't necessarily believe that every person that got cancer or some other awful disease was being punished. For years, people have believed that God punished people who sinned by making them sick. Well, according to this scripture, Jesus said thid man wasn't born blind because of sin, but so that God could perform a miracle in him and show the world who his son was! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all view sicknesses and diseases that way? I know I can't for sure. With Lane being so sick with his immune system, it's hard to believe that God could be glorified through this situation at all. In fact, I've blamed myself for his sickness for years. I've always felt that msybe he was possibly suffering because of me being so rebellious as a child, but I'm wondering if maybe I was just allowing satan to attempt to make me bitter towards God. It didnt work of course, reading these verses was like a breath of fresh air.

I can imagine that Jesus stepped on the toes of these religious leaders! I enjoyed reading about thin story because so many things happen in a short amount of time. The blind man's parents are questions by the leaders. The know that anyone who says Jesus is the Messiah will be punished, so they pass the buck. Instead of defending their child, they were so afraid of the religious leaders that they turns their backs on him after Jesus had just healed him! We need to be careful that our attitudes don't make people feel unwelcome or unwanted.we should never make someone feel like they can't be honest with us. we always seem to want honesty, but most of the time if its given, We get irritated. Don't be in the same boat as the Pharisees and religious leaders. God created us all equal.

John 8

Okay so I am feeling much better thanks to Tylenol cold! I am going to attempt to post everything tonight. I need to stop waiting so late to type everything up! I was listening to a song tonight by Francesca Banistelli called, "The Time in Between" and it is about how we always are so amazed by the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. She says Jesus was there for everything. He was there when God told him he had to leave and go spend 9 months in his mothers womb and 3 days in a borrowed tomb. Then she says she lifts empty hands for god to fill her up again but she falls to her knees and is thankful for Jesus who came only for her. She's thankful for the time between his birth and resurrection. Then she says there are so many ways his love has saved the day. she is thankful for them all but that she is really amazed by the time in between. The time in between two things. Those two things were his birth and resurrection. The time in between was his life and death. She mentions at the beginning that she can't believe he came for her and she is waiting daily for him to fill her up again. I couldn't help but to praise God while I was listening to that song. I was so excited to get to read my Bible tonight because I wanted to see what happened in the next chapter. That song really just showed me that I need to be extra thankful for what Jesus did for me.

The first verses of Chapter 8 are probably some of my favorites in the Bible. This is the story of the adulterous woman that the Pharisees brought before Jesus. The way that those men treated her makes me so mad and it is probably because I am a woman! But it doesn't mean they are innocent. Jesus saw through their facade and into their heart. He knew their hearts weren't right so what right did they have to bring this woman to him for judgment?! I got chills while reading this because I always think of the scene in The Passion of the Christ where Mary Magdalene (this isnt scripturally based. there is no scriptural evidence to support that Mary M. and this woman were the same person)reaches across the dirt to grab Jesus's foot. She was desperate for Jesus. He had saved her life and she knew who he was. How many times have we been totally desperate for Jesus? Have we ever? We don't need to wait until we are caught in a bad situation, like this woman was to cry out for Jesus. Cry out to him daily!

When Jesus told the people that whoever was without sin should cast the first stone, he made it clear that compassion and forgiveness far outweighed punishment in his book. He didnt ridicule or reprimand those that were being judgmental, he just highlighted the characteristics that they were missing. Now here is the catcher! Jesus didnt ignore her sin. He told her not to sin any longer. Many times Christians are made out to be judgmental just because they disagree with a lifestyle. That isn't true. If we follow Jesus's example here, then we can disagree in a loving and kind manner.

I know Jesus was the type of man here on earth that was unbeatable. I also know that he knew who he was and who his father was so he wouldn't waver when questioned, which is why his answer for the Pharisees in verses 14-20 is so awesome1 I love how he basically says my testimony is valid because of who I am. If you don't believe it the Messiah then that's on you. Not me. He was straight forward and to the point. He didnt best around the bush. He didnt preach "feel good" messages. He brought the truth and the truth only. We all need to follow by example.

Things get rough in verse 34. Jesus says that anyone who sins is a slave to sin! We are all slaves! Thankfully, we can ask for forgiveness. If we don't, then we will remain in bondage and that bondage will eventually drag us down instead of lifting us up. Satan uses the religious leaders' pride and arrogance to blind them from what Jesus was trying to show them. He asks them if his language wasn't clear to them. Of course he knew it wasn't. They were so blinded by their sin and hate that they couldn't see or think clearly.

I have been I'm the same position of the Pharisees before. I am very thankful to have the ability to read my bible. And to pray! Daily! So many don't even have that. You all have my continuous prayers. God bless!

Continuation of Chapter 7

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry that I didn't post last night. I did read my Bible, but I have been sick and didn't get the chance to post it because I went to bed. I have been drowsy because of my medicine which means I didn't want to post and my post not make any sense. In chapter 7 verses 31, it says, "They said, 'when Christ comes, will he do more miraculous signs than this man?'" I was really glad that this was mentioned in this chapter because I know that I am one of those people that usually doubts things that I'm told or seen. Even as I have been reading my Bible, I have had issues where I think to myself that these "stories" are so far fetched. The more education that I have received, the easier it is for me to doubt the word of God. I do know that God is real and so is the Bible and that is just Satan trying to turn me away from this challenge. These men and women doubted Jesus even when he had shown them so many miracles already. It was encouraging to me to know that others have had this same exact issue that I have and they were actually there with Jesus. I am going off of faith and faith alone. Sometimes it is hard for us to believe something that isn't tangible. For them, they could see Jesus and they still had issues believing in him.

Verses 32-36 talk about Jesus saying that wherever the people look for him, they wont find him. The Jews didn't understand that they were only looking for Jesus on the surface level. Jesus wanted them to have a deeper understanding for who he was and why he was there. They didn't search out those answers for themselves and I believe Jesus wanted them to do just that. He expects that of us also. We shouldn't believe based on what others tell us. He wants us to dive into his Word and look for the answers ourselves.

I absolutely loved verse 38! "Whoever believes in me as the scripture has said streams of living water will flow from him." I think this may be a new favorite verse of mine. The words "streams of living water" is such a beautiful way to describe the Holy Spirit flowing out of us and into the world. When I imagine beauty in nature, I imagine a stream or river somewhere in the woods or mountains. For Jesus to describe the Holy Spirit leaving us like that is just amazing to me.

The Pharisees sent the guards to arrest Jesus and the guards basically came back and said, nobody has ever spoken to us in the way that he does. Even they knew that Jesus was the Messiah. The Pharisees couldn't accept this because they were arrogant. They believed that they knew everything and that this man, Jesus, was just a prophet and that he was claiming things that were untrue. Deep down, I think some of them may have believed him, but they were too afraid to step up and say something. Religious leaders were very powerful during this time. Many of these men knew there was no fault in Jesus but they searched him over with a fine toothed comb just so they would be able to find some type of fault. Even when they did this, they found none. This is why it took so long for him to be arrested and crucified. We need to be careful that we don't become like the Pharisees. Belief in Jesus may be a bit harder for us because we cannot see him, but we have access to him on a daily basis by prayer and reading our Bibles as well as fellowship with other believers. I pray that the Holy Spirit flows out of each and every one of you like the living water that God provides. Let's bring this Living Water to the world.

John ch. 7

I am writing this at the end of a VERY long day so excuse any typos.

The first verse I want to talk about tonight is verse 7,
"The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil."
I have always wondered why people hate God so much and this verse just explained it to me! There are so may people who hate God simply because they don't want an authority figure over them on a daily basis. We will have people that hate us and persecute us because we are Christians. Jesus dealt with this too so he understands the pain and suffering we go through.

The next several verses talk about how Jesus finally preached at a large gathering. Not many people believed him. Jesus's own brothers also didn't believe that he was the messiah. They didnt know how he had gotten to be so smart without having the proper training. Jesus's answer is one we should give, "My teaching is not my own. It comes from he who sent me."Everything we teach should come from The Lord. He speaks life not so that we may speak it onto others. I'm sure this puzzled the Pharisees. They weren't exactly sure what was going on and why he was gaining so much power. They weren't sure where his training came from. Who was his teacher if he wasn't learning from the Pharisees? Where did he get the authority to say these things? These questions may have ran through their Heads, but God knew what was going to happen and he protected Jesus the first time.

At this point, people had been noticing that Jesus was preaching and the Pharisees weren't doing anything about it. They didn't understand that he was the Messiah. Then it says that they tried to seize him but NOTHING happened because it wasn't yet his time. I am going to stop here at this verse tonight and pick up here tomorrow. This verse shows us that God loves us enough to not let anything happen to us unless it is the right time. He knew that Jesus had more things to do n earth; so he spared his life. This is the same thing with our lives. We need to stop worrying. We are going to die whether we like it or not. But God has his hand on us until that point in time. Stay faithful and strong!

John 6

Hi everyone! I hope your day has been as awesome as mine! I really am enjoying out Bible atudy. I'm also beginning a weightless journey during this time, so I feel like I am doing so much at one time! I'm making some major life changes. This past week has really been great though. I know God is working in my life. I feel like my thoughts are centered around God and his will for my life here lately. I am 27 years old and I have yet to figure out what my purpose is here on earth. I know it's to tell people about Jesus and I know it's to teach, but I feel like there is more that I should be doing. So I am praying for God to open those doors for me.
Now...on to chapter 6!

In verse 27, Jesus says, "Do not work for food that spoils but for food tha endures to eternal life." This is something that I am TERRIBLE about doing. Instead of searching for God, I search for other Worldly things to make myself happy. Those are empty feelings. They may satisfy me for the moment but they won't satisfy me for life. And they definitely won't save me from an eternity in Hell. It is up to me to keep up my relationship with God. He gives God gave us free will and he will not force himself on us. This means that we have to be spiritually mature and we have to seek God out at all times. God doesn't want us to seek him out only when we need something from him. He wants us to daily take up our cross and follow him. It is difficult. Not an easy task by any means, but it will be worth it in the end.

Verse 44 says, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.." This is speaking of salvation. g
God convicts us of living wrong. He draws us to him through Jesus Christ. There is nothing we can do to make this happen. The people in John 6 wanted him to perform miracles for them. They said they needed these miracles to believe in him. Obviously what he was saying and the previous miracles he had performed weren't enough for them. Jesus was right there in front of them and they still had issues believing in him.

Jesus also talks about eating the flesh of his flesh and drinking his blood. I think at this point these people were legit freaked out! If someone told me I had to drink and eat their blood and flesh I'd pass out! Jesus was really using an analogy between his body and blood and their bread and water. The bread and water provided sustenance for these people. It kept them alive. Jesus was making the point that physical life is nothing without eternal life added into it. He wanted them to accept him so that when physical death came, spiritual death wouldn't.

Then we get to probably one of the most famous stories in the Bible. The feeding of the 5,000(men-women and children weren't included in this number). The person who provided the food was a child. This was no coincidence. This goes back to my comment about having child-like faith. God knew that using a child would be the best way to go. Nobody would question him and it also showed society (then and now) how important children are to us. It Jesus used that child, then he will use anyone who is willing to give.

My last point Is that Jesus came to us as a carpenter. I think this is important because God commands us to go into all the nations. Baptizing people in his name. If he had come to us as a king who didnt associate with lower class, then we wouldn't have been able to relate to him. He wouldn't have had as many followers. He came to earth as a man so that we could use him as an example of how to live our lives. I hope this post has been a big help. Praying for you again. Sorry for the typos!

John chapter 5

Once again, I am posting late at night! I actually read chapter 6 tonight instead of chapter 5 so I had to do a double reading. I hope everyone had a great day today and attended some awesome church services. I'm really enjoying reading all of this scripture every night. My life is already changing for the better. My thoughts have been more positive today than they have been in a while.

In the beginning of John 5, we see where a man has been sick for 38 years and cannot ever make it into the pool healed. Can you imagine being that man!? Imagine sitting at that pool for years and trying to make it in but getting cut off by other people every time. I'm sure he was angry, sad and depressed. Jesus knew this man felt there was no hope, but he immediately gave him the hope that he needed and he healed him! I know that there aren't many of us who have suffered with being sick for 38 years, but I do know that some people have suffered with different sicknesses such as cancer for a good while. Please don't be discouraged. If Jesus healed this man after 38 years, then he can do the same for you. That is really easy for me to say because I haven't been sick like that, but I do have a child who has an immune disorder. I have held him and cried myself to sleep on many different nights because I wasn't in control. There wasn't anything I could do to "fix" this issue. I slowly began to trust God with the situation. We still don't have many answers as to whether or not he will grow out of this disorder or he will continue to have it for the rest of his life, but I know this...God is the ultimate healer. Not a doctor!

In verse 10, the Pharisees became angry because this man that was healed was walking around and holding his mat. To them, that was considered work. They didnt even see the man standing in front of them. They didnt care that he had been healed. All they cared about was their silly rule that stated he couldn't work on a Sunday. I think that we as Christians are like the Pharisees sometimes. Instead of rejoicing that a new person is coming to church, we look at what they're wearing and we think that it's "inappropriate" for church. While that may be true, we don't need to focus on what they're wearing. Their heart is much more important to Jesus than their clothes. This isn't the only example I have, but I just chose to write about they one. Our attitudes stink sometimes. We need daily refreshment in our Lord. We can do this by attending church, reading our Bible, praying, and speaking about God with others.

At this time, the Pharisees began to doubt Jesus. They didnt understand why he believed himself to be the Son of God. They followed Moses's teachings. Moses wrote about Jesus, and they STILL didn't believe Jesus was the Messiah! For them, Jesus was standing right in front of them. It should have been easier for them to believe since they could see him! This tells me that daily reading and prayer is vital in our relationship with Christ. We can't physically see Jesus. We can feel him and experience his presence, and that is wonderful. We just need to be careful that we don't get the attitude that the Pharisees had about everything. We rent better than anyone just because we attend church on a regular basis.

Jesus gave three signs that were mentioned in the Bible already that referred to his first coming. He mentioned these things when he was speaking with the Pharisees. He said:
1. All power and authority will be given to him as the son of man.
2. Lame and sick are healed.
3. The dead will be raised to life.

He warned them that they believed Moses's teachings, but yet they don't follow everything he wrote about because he wrote about Jesus and Jesus was standing right in front of them and they still didn't believe he was God's son.

After all these things were fulfilled, the Pharisees still did not believe that he was the Son of God. Jesus came here as a normal man. Just like any other man. I believe God did that on purpose. We can relate to Jesus because he was just like us. He was born as a man and died as a man. Nothing we can do can ever top that. Once again, I am praying for each and every one of you. Tomorrow nights post will be longer and more detailed. Have a blessed day.

John 4

First I would like to say thank you so much to those of you who have been reading my blog. I know several of you have already checked today to see if I had posted, so I'd like to apologize for the late post. I have been busy with cleaning and two trips to Mobile today. Needless to say,I really needed tonight's reading!

When we begin John 4, we see that Jesus left Judea and went back to Galilee. The chapter begins with Jesus sitting at the well speaking to a woman who had come to draw water during the middle of the day. My study Bible provided me with the information that women usually drew water in the mornings and in the evenings, so it was strange for this woman to be at the well during the midday hours. As Jesus continues to speak with her, we learn that she has had 5 husbands and the man she lived with at that point wasn't her husband. Jesus seriously just called this chick out! To her face! About her own private living situation! I'm not sure about y'all but I think I'd be pretty stinkin' mad if some stranger reprimanded me for me having so many husbands. I think that this Samaritan woman knew there was something different about Jesus. 1. He spoke with her in public....that is a big deal because he was a Jewish man and she was a Samaritan woman. 2. He knew her sins but yet he spoke to her anyways! This is a valuable lesson for all of us! Our sins are not too great for God to handle. We also don't need to have the attitude that so many Christians have. There are people I personally know that will not converse with someone who is living a sinful life. I've heard of people saying that if a person is outright sinning and they come to their church, they should run them out of there! This is the wrong mentality to have. Yes Jesus reprimanded her, but he did it out of love. He didnt do it out of arrogance.

Verse 33 brought forth a few chuckles from me, I'll have to admit! The disciples remind me so much of myself! They are constantly asking questions because they don't understand what Jesus is talking about. With them being his close followers, they still didn't have a clue half the time, so that means that for those of us who don't follow him closely, we are really going to be lost. We need to try to have faith that God will work things out. The government official at the end of this chapter had faith. He left and went back to his sick son and didn't doubt that God would heal him for one minute. If we want God to work in our lives, we need to start praying and accepting and thanking him for his blessings he gives us. Even if We can't see them at this moment in time.

Verse 37 talks about how some do the hard labor and then other people reap the benefits. I took this as a sign to not get discouraged. We may not see the immediate result, but the planting and tending to the crop is much harder than picking it and reaping the crop. What we need to remember is that the seed has to start somewhere. Don't be discouraged. I am raging for every one of you!

John 3

Today's reading is out of John 3. I read the whole chapter just like I have the past few days but I am only going to focus on a few verses. You will have to excuse any errors you see. I am using my iPad to type so things are going slower than usual.

As a child, when I was growing up, I really believed everything that anyone told me. It didnt matter if it was a simple or difficult concept. Someone could tell me that they were Superman and I would have believed it. Once I matured, I lost some of my innocence and began to doubt different things that I was told. This wasn't always a negative thing because it meant that I was learning to think for myself. It also meant that I didn't have that childlike faith that I had when I was younger. We see in John 3:4 that Nicodemus questioned Jesus about how a person could be born again. He didn't understand the concept of a spiritual birth after a physical birth and didnt realize that the second birth that Jesus was speaking about was a spiritual birth. Nicodemus doubted that the gift of salvation could be given to him if he chose to take it because he didnt have the faith of a young child anymore. As we grow older, it is easy for our hearts to become hardened by the world around us. We see so much hatred and evil on a daily basis that we doubt the good things that come from God. Nicodemus was also very educated. He was one of the teachers of the law. As I have furthered my education, there have been times when Satan has tempted me to throw God to the side. Being smart and intelligent is good, but we shouldn't forget who gave us that intelligence. We are and never will be so smart that we don't need God's guidance. The gift of salvation is one of those things that we doubt because it is so easy to receive it. We should pray that the hearts of those around us would be softened and willing to accept this gift of salvation and eternal life.

Verse 17 says, "For God did not come to the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him." This verse was one that I pondered for awhile before I came to the conclusion of what I thought that it meant. I also discussed it with a few people and they agreed that while Jesus was here, he was a living example of what we should strive to be like. He was truly "Christlike" every day that he walked this earth. God didnt send Jesus here to tell the world that they were living the wrong way. He did tell them how they should live and he did explain to them the way that the should do things, but he also lived the lifestyle and led by example. When he did reprimand someone, he did it out of love and with a great humility. This is how we should go about telling people about Christ. Condemning someone to hell because of their actions is wrong. Loving someone and showing them the correct way to live is the right way to go about that situation. Don't get me wrong, I do believe we are to confront other believers when they aren't following the right path, but for non believers, the best way to lead them to Christ is to show them his love and TELL them what he has done for you!

John's disciples became angry at one point when Jesus began baptizing people. In a way I can relate to the frustration shown by his disciples. For so long, they had been the ones to handle all of these things and then once Jesus shows up the people give them the boot. They probably felt used and abandoned. John, with his wisdom, knew that they were there to prepare the way for Jesus Christ. He states, "He must increase, but I must decrease." I find this so hard to do with my daily life. In order for God to increase and work in my life, my wants, needs and desires must decrease. I must remain humble and unselfish. That goes against my human nature which is why it's so important to stay in the word of God on a daily basis.

As far as accepting this gift that Jesus gave us when he died on the cross for our sins, we need to be sure that we have asked Jesus to live in our hearts and lead, guide, and direct us on a daily basis. Indecision can become a fatal decision as far as this goes. If we put off accepting Christ, then we could essentially be damning ourselves to hell. We also could be sending others to hell every time we miss an opportunity to tell them about Jesus. This should grieve us. I don't want anyone to go to hell. It's something that has plagued my heart since I was a young child. The thought that there may be others who are suffering an eternity in hell because of missed opportunities to plant or water that seed causes me a lot of heartache. We need to pray for boldness and bravery for these times that we are faced with these situations. Don't miss God. The world tells us that we can be a "good person" and go to heaven because God is love and love wouldn't send someone to hell. That's not true. God is love, but God also gives us free will to choose for ourselves. It is a decision that only we can make when we feel the Holy Spirit drawing us to him. The entrance requirements are easy. 1) repentance and 2) spiritual rebirth. After this, our prayer line to God is always open! He is our strength.

I sincerely hope that this has encouraged those of you who aren't a born again believer to look into these scriptures for yourselves and see what you think. Please email me if you have any questions whatsoever. Also, keep praying that more people will look at the blog and keep sharing the page.
Love in Christ,
Brooke

John Chapter 2

I am very pleased to see that I have had 105 page views so far! I really am happy that people are reading the post from yesterday! I was discouraged to see that we had no comments yesterday and no discussion, but I know that some people are hesitant to post. I am a writer, so I am not shy about placing my thoughts and feelings online for all to see. Most of you can probably tell this by my facebook posts. I'm brutally honest about myself most of the time and I'm my hardest critic. I have been dealing with a lot lately as far as God opening my eyes and my heart. I can't tell you what an emotional day I had yesterday! I feel like God is breaking my heart and I'm only on day 2 of this challenge. That means that he is definitely moving and the Holy Spirit is working through this blog post. If not for anyone else, he definitely is for me. I am very thankful for this!

In John Chapter 2, we see where Jesus performed the first miracle. He turned water to wine because his mother involved him in this situation. Isn't that just like us ladies....trying to fix everything and play hostess. I think that Mary knew her son could perform this miracle and that if she prompted him to try, then he would fix the issue of not having any more wine at the ceremony.

In verse 10, it says, "and said, 'Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.'"

As I was reading this, I began to think about how that wine began as nothing but water. When Jesus touched it, (figuratively or physically-it isn't clear how he turned the water into wine..that's why it's called a miracle!)he changed it into something better. Sometimes, my life is like that water. I began my life as a sinner. I was saved at the age of 15. I wish that I could say that I had a radical experience and changed immediately, but I struggled with temptations and gave in to a lifestyle that I shouldn't have lived. I was still in the "water" stage of my life because I wasn't willing to let God change me into something better. Once I matured and grew up, I began to feel that I didn't deserve forgiveness and I didn't deserve for God to work in my life because of the mistakes that I have made in my past. This is a recent struggle that I have been dealing with. Since I started this challenge, Satan has used every thing in his power to convince me that I'm worthless, ugly, messed up beyond repair, and useless. I have struggled to forgive myself for my past. I need to be more like Mary in the sense that I need to trust and know that Jesus can "fix" me just like he fixed the problem at the ceremony in John 2. He changed the plain water into wine. Not only wine, but the best wine that was present at the wedding! This means that God can change me into someone who is better than what I am now and that is better than what I was in the past. No matter what I've done, he can "fix" me if I allow him to.

Verse 24-25 of John states, "But Jesus did not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person."

I understand that in these verses Jesus is speaking of knowing the hearts of the Jews and the people who were selling things within the temple. It says he knew their hearts and knew what was in each person. If Jesus knew the hearts of those men during that time, then he knows our hearts now also. The word of God cannot be changed. It is the same now as it was then. Jesus hasn't changed anything since then. He intercedes on my behalf every day! Not only did he die for my sins, but he continues to forgive me and ask God to have mercy on me on a daily basis because I screw up! If Jesus, who died for me, still asks for mercy for me, then why can I not forgive myself for those sins that have already been covered by his blood. I have been bitter and angry about things because my life hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to work out. I have remained in church and done the right thing, and then been angry because my life isn't working out how I want it to. That's the mindset I've had and I've been angry because things weren't going the way I wanted. How completely selfish is that?! God has a plan for my life and that plan is better than any plan I have for myself. It's not my job to look into the future and try to "fix" things...it's my job to live every day for Jesus Christ. The rest will fall into place when it is time.

I know this post has been more about me than anything, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and what God was already doing in my life. I am still praying that God is working in your lives as well!
Thanks again!