John 21

I haven't posted on my blog in two Days! I feel awful because I haven't posted. I have got to start making more time for things that need to be a priority in my life. I am currently finishing up my second maternity leave at Bryant High School so I am stressing and trying to get everything taken care of. I fell asleep in the bed with lane tonight at 7 and then woke up at 9:30 and realized I hadn't washed his uniforms for school tomorrow or cleaned the kitchen! Luckily mom had taken care of the kitchen. At any rate, I'm running on fumes.

John chapter 20 is about the third time that Jesus appears to his disciples after his resurrection. I am pretty sure that These special times with Jesus were like a breath of fresh air to the disciples. I can't imagine having Jesus physically there to guide me every day and then him be gone. I am sure the disciples felt somewhat lost and afraid because they didn't have that daily face to face relationship with Jesus as they had had before his death and resurrection. When the men saw Jesus on the shore and Peter JUMPED overboard and swam to him. He was so anxious to see him that he wasn't waiting. He wanted to be there first. This shows the desperation that he had for Jesus. My question is, when are we ever that desperate for Jesus? Of course we would definitely jump overboard and swim to him if we physically saw him, but in our day to day lives that isn't possible. The only way we see him and can be close to him is by reading our Bibles and attending our churches so that we can be around other believers who will lift is up. I know that over the past few days I've lost my focus on my daily readings because I've been so tired, but that isn't an excuse. I can remember a time a few years back where I would sit up until all hours of the night and read my Bible. This is a time when I was desperate for Jesus. I needed his guidance every day because of a storm I was going through in my life. It's always easier for me to remain close to God when I am going through a difficult time in my life because that's a time when I so desperately need him. Really I need him daily. Because I never know when I am going to be faced with a difficult situation where I may need to consult him for answers. If I'm
Not in my bible and prayed up, then there is no way I will be able to clearly understand what God wants me to do.

My next point is about Jesus telling
Peter to feed his sheep. Remember that Peter has denied him three times. Jesus asked him if he loved him three times and Peter was irritated that he had to ask so many times and didn't believe him after the first time he mentioned it. This was simply Jesus's way of clearing Peter from his earlier denial of knowing him. Yes, it was a cowardly action that was made by Peter, but Jesus forgave him! In my Bible, the questions that Jesus really asked are shown. They Are: do you love me? Do you really love me? Are you even my friend? These are significant because Jesus wasn't settling for just any answer. He doesn't want our minimum when it comes to our relationship with him. That isn't much of a sacrifice. Which is why he told Peter to feed his sheep. The sacrifice comes in when you can truly humble yourself and become the servant that Jesus intended you to be.

Jesus predicts Peter's death in this chapter as well. He tells Peter that there will be a time when someone will lead him somewhere that he doesn't want to go. Peter does die, later, by crucifixion. He was crucified upside down because he didn't feel worth of being crucified in the same manner that Jesus was crucified. I cannot imagine being crucified period. Much less upside down, but Peter's life was so radically changed by Jesus that he knew his time was near for him to see his friend again. He knew he wasn't wven worthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus was. That makes me feel so many different emotions because I don't know if I could have been as brave as Peter was. Peter also asked Jesus how John would die and Jesus told him not to be concerned about him. He needed to be concerned with his own life and death! This verse AND what I'm about to type will probably step on some toes, bit I'm just as guilty of it as the next person so I am preaching to the choir. We allllllllll need to be concerned with our own lives, issues, problems, families, jobs, etc., and stop worrying about what everyone else has going on! I am the worlds worst at being nosey! I can't stand not knowing what is going on, but seriously in the grand scheme of things, what importance does that hold? None whatsoever! God commands me to feed his sheep....he didn't command me to find out what all the sheep are eating! My job is simple. Feed his sheep, bring them closer to him, draw closer to him myself.

If Jesus were to ask you the three questions he asked Peter,
Do you love me?
Do you really love me?
Are you even my friend?

Not only what would you say, but would your life provide proof of that love and friendship that you have for Jesus Christ?